Le Printemps est arrivee

So here we are then. Spring. The sky is blue, grass is green, the little bird is on the wing (I always thought the wing was on the bird but hey, voila!).

What has been all the more remarkable, given that this is Scotland in April, is that we have been truly blessed with a Spring like one from our childhood memories. Never mind the gooey sentiments of an optomistic ryhme, the sky really has been blue and the grass greener than a billard table.

The sunshine and unseasonally warm temperatures have not just brought out the insects much earlier than normal - bloody wasps - but brought out the optimists in us all. I for one have been waking up and instead of creaking and groaning like the animated statue in Jason and the Argonauts have been rising with more enthusiasm than it is right to have at this time of year. I've got a lighter step and less of a hunch against the chill winds and rain I normally associate with this time of year and a general air of relief that the dark winter days are behind me for a few months at least.

What it also has done is re-kindle thoughts of relocation and of continuing my days in more permanently sunnier climes - for example in the south of France (it is the subject of this blog after all). There have been a number of reasons why it has come back to the forefront of my mind recently, quite aside from enjoying the greater clemency. Glasgow has introduced a new scheme called "Cleaner Glasgow" or somesuch trite project title thought up by a marketing whizz. The reason for this is that Glasgow has become blighted by litter, and after spending millions of pounds on fancy public realm projects to smarten the place up a bit somebody somewhere has realised that what we are left with are the same old litter louts, vandals and hooligans who think nothing of throwing away anything from a crisp packet or chip wrapper, to empty bottles, clothing, and furniture.

Now I'm long enough in the tooth to understand that litter is a worldwide problem but where is the civic pride? Where is the community spirit that used to see grocers sweep the portion of the pavement in front of their shop? And where the hell are the bins? I'm not talking about the city centre where in fairness there seems to be an ample sufficiency, but in the more remote arrondissements, and especially where I live they are as rare as dents de poulet.

Here is the thing. There is a bus stop close to my house. From the bus stop every morning pour hundreds of the nations future on their way to school to learn whatever scraps of useful information the education system in this country has deemed it necessary to actually insist on. Of course few of these enfants have had anything like a good breakfast in them and so they head to the bakers for a roulade de saucisson (or whatever - you know what I mean). On their way to school and en passant chez moi they discard the wrappers and whatever remains of the greasy sludge they have been eating in my front garden or along the pavement leaving a trail that Hansel and Gretel would be proud of. Now allowing for the fact that they might not actually bother if they were available, it is noteworthy to observe that there is only a single bin along this 600 metre stretch to cater for the litter needs of an entire secondary school. Now I'm no expert on litter, but this seems a little on the light side given the environment.

The council also said they were mobilising hit squads to monitor problem areas and hand out fixed penalty notices to offenders they catch, using all the latest digital camera technologfy of course. Sadly the hit squads seem to about as rare a sight as the bins all the fixed penalties could arguably pay for. I give in! I truly do.

The other significant event that has caused me to think harder about a life elsewhere was a visit from my old friend Mike who 18 months ago reached his very own mid-life crisis and moved to Bangkok. A bit extreme you might say but in short he is now as happy as a sand boy and has observed that all the things that annoyed him about the UK and Glasgow in particular do not exisit in Thailand. Okay so he's lived through a military coup, corruption is rife and poverty pretty harsh in someplaces, but what it does have is a kind of old fashioned respect for others, elders and betters. There are no neds to cause the litter and graffitti and even those young Thais that aim to emulate their western heros are clean cut honourable people under whatever image they are wearing.

So I am not sure where that leaves me. Slightly disatisfied now that the weather is turning. France I know has issues with louts, graffitti and litter, but it retains a lot of the family and community spirit that is now comletely lost here. I keep dreaming my dream and maybe one day something will make me click and help me take the plunge. Until then, I'll have to satisfy myself with a glass of kir and dish of olives in my back garden.